Boundaries: Lessons for Leaders

I will never forget the first time a colleague communicated their boundaries to me. As a new manager, I was so happy to have a go-to person on my team—someone effective, reliable, highly engaged, and a joy to work with. I remember thinking how fortunate I was to manage such a “low maintenance” employee, and our leader check-ins were a breeze—or so I thought!

One day, during a one-on-one meeting, they walked over to my desk as I typed and said, “When we meet, I don’t feel heard.” That comment struck me like a lightning bolt! I stopped, closed my laptop, and turned around. They had my full attention.

That moment forever changed how I show up as a leader. I realized it took courage for this team member to share their truth and manage up. The person provided feedback about why they did not feel heard—minimal eye contact, typing while talking, and sometimes answering calls. Their examples were based on facts that resonated with me because I knew them to be true. Looking back, I’m embarrassed to admit my behavior as a first-time leader. However, that pivotal moment helped me to lead with impact holistically.

Leaders at all levels are susceptible to falling into this trap during times of change, due to increased workload, competing business demands, and more. During business times, giving people the full attention they deserve can be even more challenging. How leaders show up during these important moments can determine whether employees feel safe enough to leverage their voices in communicating their boundaries. Korn Ferry's research found that high levels of burnout can affect not only our physical and emotional health but also how well we perform at work. Understanding ourselves beyond our roles and accomplishments is crucial for our self-worth and better performance.

How Leaders Can Empower Employees to Set Boundaries

Many people are apprehensive about asserting their boundaries at work, fearing retaliation or being perceived as having a poor work ethic when they say “no” to a task due to being overextended. One of the most powerful ways to enable culture change around work-life boundaries is for all leaders to model boundary-setting. I once heard a senior leader share that she intentionally took her family on vacation to a remote area with limited cell service to disconnect fully. It’s rare for leaders—especially in senior positions—to be this transparent! It takes confidence and self-respect to, like this leader, identify what you’re willing or unwilling to do. Examples like this are important for employees to hear, as this empowers them to set their own boundaries and prioritize self-care.

Here are a few practical ways leaders can empower their team members to maintain boundaries:

Lead by example

There is no better way to create and foster a culture than showing team members a vision of good! You set the precedence for acceptable ways of working and establish expectations for non-written rules and team norms.

• Make space for self-reflection. Consider ways you are sacrificing effectiveness for efficiency.
• Consider when you are most productive when establishing boundaries and solicit feedback from your leadership about the right level of productivity.
• Give yourself permission to slow down. We can move so fast at times that we might even spell our own name wrong. Focus less on response time and more on the quality of your response.
• Make the non-written, written. Share your boundaries with the team and let them know they can establish boundaries too.

Respond to feedback with receptivity

Perception is the basis for reception. How you respond to constructive feedback and boundary setting can impact whether team members feel like their voice is valued and if they’ll share again. Korn Ferry's experts say that transparency supports trust, engagement, and better organizational outcomes.

• Thank the person for their willingness to share their boundaries and feedback. It can take a lot of courage to be open about what a person needs or how someone has experienced you or a situation. Thanking them shows a person you are open and makes them feel validated.
• Share your third response. When we initially hear feedback, we can react defensively, which is not helpful. If we don’t give ourselves time to process, our second response may come across sarcastically. By the time we get to our third response, we are usually more empathetic and receptive.
• Communicate to your team members that you value their feedback and boundaries. This is a quick way to gain respect rather than lose respect and credibility from your teammates.

Be intentional about implementing best practices

Awareness of what to do differently is just the start, but without translating new insights into action, the intended change will not occur. Planning your boundaries is important because real impact happens with an action plan!

• Check in with your team members to confirm they’re taking breaks, eating lunch (many team members have told me during coaching they don’t eat at all), and using their paid time off.
• Create space between meetings. Start five minutes after the hour or end five minutes early.
• When working after hours, schedule your emails to be sent during regular business hours to prevent team members from feeling pressured to respond immediately.
• Implement “No Facetime Fridays” if working virtually.

These practices will allow you to change your behavior and demonstrate congruency in what you say and do. Let your intent equal your impact! Communicating that you honor your team members' boundaries and not implementing any changes is worse than not saying anything at all.

Consider which best practices might be helpful to implement that demonstrate a commitment to maintaining boundaries in your leadership and empower team members to do the same.

We learned in the first column how critical it is to honor your values through personal and interpersonal boundaries for a better work-life balance. In this column, we explored how leaders can lead by example to positively influence culture. In our next column, we will review what boundaries look like at the organizational level.

To start creating boundaries for better work-life balance and lead by example, speak with a coach at Korn Ferry Advance.