Contributor, Korn Ferry Institute
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Skip to main contentDaniel Goleman is author of the international best-seller Emotional Intelligence and Optimal: How to Sustain Personal and Organizational Excellence Every Day. He is a regular contributor to Korn Ferry.
When Laurie Santos, a psychologist at Yale University, launched her course “Psychology and the Good Life,” she was shocked at the interest: within a couple of years, her course was the most popular ever offered, with one-quarter of Yale’s students enrolled.
One student told The New York Times that this was because Yale undergrads were tired of “numbing their emotions—both positive and negative—so they can focus on their work, the next step, the next accomplishment.” In other words, in a high-performing environment like Yale, students had grown weary of prioritizing work and status over all else – particularly when the trade-off wasn’t yielding the happiness they hoped for.
This isn’t dissimilar to what many workers experience – particularly in high stress, achievement-focused cultures. In some organizations, numbing emotions is part of doing business: the expectation is that people will perform at all costs, even when the research shows this attitude has led to skyrocketing levels of burnout. A recent survey of close to 11,000 executives across the US, Australia, France, Germany, Japan, and the UK reported a significant drop in wellbeing. Work-life balance scores dropped by 20% and work-related stress and anxiety was 40% higher than in previous years. Across the many levels of leadership, some of the lowest scores on the survey came from middle managers.
Santos’ research on happiness and the “good life” is particularly relevant during the past political season. Many organizational leaders, particularly those in human resources and other people-focused departments, are wondering how to bridge differences and foster some semblance of happiness amidst such a divisive ideological landscape.
In some places, the conversation is centered on values: if we can get people to see where they are aligned, then perhaps we can pacify conflict and soften the impact of political disagreement. This thinking promotes highlighting areas of shared purpose and meaning and using strategies such as values mapping, company-wide volunteer days, or revisiting the organizational mission to promote a shared sense of purpose..
In other places, the focus is on wellbeing: how to alleviate the anxiety, depression and angst so many employees are struggling with. Here, leaders are thinking about the impact of negative emotions on organizational culture, employing strategies such as extra time off, company-supported spa days, and access to mental health resources in order to help employees deal with their overwhelm.
But no matter what path leaders are looking down—the path of amplifying meaning or the path of amplifying wellbeing—the conundrum is still the same: how to live a “good life” in the midst of so much upheaval.
According to Santos, living a good life isn’t about your bank account, your physical appearance, or your material possessions – it comes through gratitude, building strong relationships, having a sense of purpose, being kind, being in community and engaging in activities that challenge us.
Another piece of wisdom she offers is the distinction between being happy in our lives versus with our lives. When people are happy with their lives they can see their life across a longer timeline: the wins, joys and productive challenges that happen throughout their existence. When they are happy in their lives, the focus is on right now – how they feel in the context of the current moment.
Bottom line: material gain isn’t going to bring the kind of happiness most people are looking for. How much happiness people are able to feel in these weeks and years will have a lot to do with how engaged they can stay with all of these facets—purpose, gratitude, connection—not just at work but within their wider lives.
Co-written by Elizabeth Solomon
Click here to learn more about Daniel Goleman's Building Blocks of Emotional Intelligence.
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