What Really Matters

Gary Burnison is CEO of Korn Ferry and the author of Love, Hope & Leadership: A Special Edition.

Our last conversation was just days ago—and it was a moment I will forever cherish.

I was speaking to a dear friend and colleague, Mark Arian, CEO of our Consulting business for nearly the last eight years. He knew and I knew that these would be our final words to each other—but we let that be unspoken.

He told me how blessed he felt to work with such incredible people—and equally how those same people touched his life. And, incredibly, in his very last words to me, he offered a wonderful blessing, part of his religious tradition which he held deeply.

The actual words are far too personal to share. But with his unfortunate passing, these sentiments will forever attest to the grace, love, and humanity that defined Mark.

During my life I’ve had these end-of-life conversations a few times with people I knew professionally and personally and whom I held dear. No doubt, most of us have. What amazes me is that while I struggled to find the words, they never did. While the details are as unique as the individuals and their lives, the spirit of what they tell is profoundly similar.

They seem to see things so clearly—as if after the refiner’s fire, when all that is left is pure gold. What remains is complete clarity, reduced to our most natural form.

It’s also a reminder to all of us—of what matters most.

Yes, tomorrow is important but today is paramount.            

As leaders, we try to predict tomorrow. But even more important is perceiving and appreciating today. And isn’t that all we ever have?

Indeed, abundance is not measured in titles, positions, and careers—that’s only what we do. What endures is who we are—our very essence.

Grace. Unearned and unmerited, it is a feeling, an action, a perspective, a virtue that rises above the rest.

Empathy. Meeting people where they are—and, in every conversation, striving to help them feel better than they did before.

Listening. Twice as much as we speak.

Authenticity. The more we open up and share, the more relatable we are to others.

Inclusiveness. Diversity is a fact, inclusion is a behavior… leading the many, while at the same time understanding the perspectives of all.

Purpose. Why we do what we do. It comes from being connected to something bigger than ourselves.

Love. Here is a timeless truth that resonates deeply: When we tell people, “We couldn’t have done it without you,” what we’re really saying is, “You are loved.”

Powerful and intrinsic, these motivators distill the essence of our shared humanity. Because when the varnish comes off, the façade fades—these are the desires we all share. To belong, to make a difference.

Indeed, that’s what really matters.

Just as I was concluding this message, I was reminded yet again—when I learned of another loss suffered by someone on our leadership team. Linda Hyman, our CHRO, lost her husband, Ken. Theirs was a long and strong partnership of more than 50 years.

Whether we’re immersed in warmth and love or burdened by heartache and tragedy, each day starts the same for all of us. With every sunrise, we have a choice of how we show up—to be there for each other.

To pay tribute to Mark, we have set up an online memory book where colleagues can provide a tribute, share photos, recount stories, or offer a reflection. Let’s take the time and express to Mark’s family and friends, clients and colleagues how much he mattered to us.

In the days ahead our firm will be making charitable contributions to honor the legacies of Mark Arian and Ken Hyman.

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