The Trust in All of Us

Gary Burnison is CEO of Korn Ferry and the author of Love, Hope & Leadership: A Special Edition.

Trust is an investment, earning interest over time. And one errant withdrawal can lose it all. Yet, being trusting or being trustworthy are actually two different sides of the same coin.

Given the number of people we develop—we have seen and heard just about everything. One of my colleagues recalled an experience from earlier in his career—an executive who claimed proficiency in Kiikaonde, a dialect spoken in central Africa. As it turned out, our colleague was also fluent in the language.

Naturally, our colleague warmly greeted the executive in Kiikaonde. No response. A simpler greeting—still no response. “I take it you’re not proficient in Kiikaonde,” the colleague said. “No,” the executive replied. “I took this two-day seminar. We learned a few words….” Needless to say, things went downhill from there—and trust was never established.

Trust me. If ever a statement has the opposite effect of its intended meaning, it’s this one. We’re not likely to give our trust to just anyone—and especially not just because they say those two words. To truly trust another person, there needs to be a two-way contract of sorts—a promise based on character, capability, and follow-through.

Trustworthiness, however, literally means being worthy of others’ trust—and it’s an aspiration for all of us. In fact, our firm assesses trustworthiness as a key leadership trait. Based on more than 100 million executive assessments, we know there are several layers and levels between being trustworthy and untrustworthy.

Words alone won’t suffice when it comes to being perceived as trustworthy, far more important is what others experience. It comes down to saying what we mean and doing what we say. There can be no daylight between the two.

Within organizations, trust and belief form two lanes of the highway, while commitment, communication, and purposeful action paint the stripes down the middle. The values of the organization are the left and right guardrails, keeping us moving forward toward our destination.

That’s why the trustworthiness we want to see in others actually starts with ourselves. Here are some thoughts:

We never leave the sixth grade. The basic desire to belong, to be liked—and, ultimately, to trust and be trusted. It’s the same now as when we were in the sixth grade. Some things never change. As leaders, we need to tap the power of connectivity and trust. People want to know that they matter—not merely accepted but truly appreciated.

Trust taking flight. I remember when my son learned to fly. Did I trust him—that he was putting in the flying hours? Yes. Did I trust him enough in that moment to take me flying? Not yet. This had nothing to do with his character. Rather, it was about the continued development of his capabilities. And it’s the same with us. As much as we might like to think of ourselves as being trustworthy, are we really? And when we focus on our own trustworthiness, performance improves across the board. That’s when trust really takes off.

Our say/do ratio. It comes down to having a say/do ratio of 1-to-1. Others will know they can trust our words by observing our consistent actions. Moreover, when people work for a trustworthy leader, they are more likely to be motivated and inspired, show persistence when work is challenging, and learn from failures instead of being fearful of making mistakes.

What did you say? Years ago, I tried an exercise among my leadership team—and it was all about communication and trust. I used the “telephone game” from childhood. (Silly, yes, but in the end, effective.) I started off the game by whispering a simple phrase to the person next to me: “Communication is where leadership lives and breathes.” That person then whispered the phrase to the next person, and that person to the next ... through 15 different people. Then the last person announced proudly what they were sure they had heard: “Call me on vacation when your ship leaves.” We all laughed… but the point was made. If there is one broken link in communication, no one knows who or what to trust

It comes down to one simple, but profound statement: do it, mean it, say it, believe it.

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