Recognition Needs No Holiday

Gary Burnison is CEO of Korn Ferry and the author of Love, Hope & Leadership: A Special Edition.

Row after row, rack after rack—hearts and flowers, sunsets and rainbows, pumpkins and cornucopias. And, ironically, most with the same message.

While picking out a birthday card recently, I wandered through a dizzying display for every occasion—and in every size, design, font, and ink color. Halloween cards had already made their appearance (along with candy in the next aisle)—and I did a double take to see Thanksgiving greetings more than two months ahead of time.

Opening cards at random, I searched for that perfect message. To my surprise, though, one after the other said the same thing with only a little variation: I don’t tell you often enough how much you mean to me.  I wish I could express how special you are.

Curious, I began opening other cards for every occasion from “get well” to “bon voyage”—and there it was again: I should have told you.  Even Thanksgiving greetings offered amends for everything unsaid throughout the year.

The sheer magnitude of all those cards—for every celebration and commemoration—told me one thing: There must be a heck of a lot of people who wished they’d taken the time to tell someone how they really feel. And that’s probably true for all of us at one time or another.

Two of the most powerful words we can say are “thank you” in all its forms, including “I see you,” “I appreciate you,” and “You make a difference.” When people are told, “We couldn’t have done this without you,” the message that’s really being delivered is, “You are loved.”

It’s a fundamental truth of our human nature: We all want to be loved; we all want to belong.

This is the power of affiliation—of relating and connecting to others. As our firm’s research shows, that’s a major motivator. It’s the emotional side of leadership.

As Ken Blanchard, the leadership guru, likes to say, “It’s catching people doing things right.”

So how do we do it?

Be intentional. Believe it, mean it, say it, do it. Do it in the moment… and often.

Recognition needs no holiday.

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