For Feedback, Timing is Everything

By Liz Bentley

Bentley is the founder and CEO of Liz Bentley Associates, a consulting firm focused on empowering leaders and their teams.

March 26, 2025

In the workplace, feedback offers a different perspective—a view of how to improve outcomes and effect change. A way of letting a direct report or a colleague know how they are doing. As simple as that seems, feedback can be both hard to deliver and hard to hear. Getting the timing right can make a big difference, but unfortunately, most people don’t succeed.

There are two simple choices: in the moment, or wait. I find that people tend to default to the timing they find most comfortable, rather than considering what the situation needs. “In the moment” people prefer to attack the problem head-on and get feedback out. People who wait don’t like potential conflict and delay. Both styles have their place, but the appropriate response depends on the circumstance, not your preferred style. Adjusting your mindset to recognize which timeframe will be most effective is a crucial step in getting your feedback heard.

Here are the best cases for when to use “in the moment” feedback:

It’s relevant right now: A problem is happening in real time and needs to be corrected. For example, your colleague is speaking too fast while presenting to a client. At the next break, give the person feedback so they can make an immediate correction and improve their delivery.

Urgency is needed: A problem has emerged, and an adjustment needs to be made so that the problem doesn’t continue—or worsen. For example, if someone’s progress on a project is too slow, provide feedback and investigate how to address the issue. Waiting to give feedback could potentially deepen the problem, while addressing it right away can help the person make the needed adjustments.

Emotions are engaged: In order to spur action, sometimes it’s good to give people feedback when they are emotionally connected to the issue. For example, it’s vital to let someone know if a big mistake just happened and needs to be corrected in real time. Even though the person may be feeling sensitive to the problem, you need to address it now and hold them accountable. Waiting for them to calm down might make them double down on their view of the situation, which can prevent them from recognizing that they are causing the problem and that they need to rectify it.

In-the-moment feedback is not always appropriate. Sometimes feedback is best delivered and heard after we’ve waited...

For people to be ready: If emotions have been running hot, then it’s best to wait until the person has cooled down and is ready to hear another perspective. Don’t give them too much time, just enough for them to be more level-headed.

For you to be ready: Sometimes you need time to collect your own thoughts and compose yourself emotionally. If you were to give feedback in the moment, it might not be accurate or clear. You need time to think everything through, make yourself accountable for your part in the problem, and compose the language and ideas of your response.

For the time to be right: Sometimes you need to wait for a better time. Not just to delay, but for the issue to come up again, so you can capture it in that moment. This is a situational strategy, and doesn’t apply for urgent topics in need of an immediate fix.

To get more information: Sometimes you need to do more research or talk to more people. A solution conceived too quickly might not really solve the problem, whereas taking time to understand the issues will help you give comprehensive, fair feedback that will be heard. 

To be sure, none of this is easy. For most of us, giving feedback will be an ongoing journey. But it’s an important journey. Choose the optimal time—and it will make all the difference.

Photo Credits: George Peters/Getty Images; Rob Dobi